A man’s role in menopause

There are certain things in a woman’s life that only a woman can go through. Two of those are pregnancy and childbirth, another is menopause. While men are now included as much as possible in pregnancy and childbirth, their role in their partners journey through menopause is completely unclear.

Let’s face it, women today are only just beginning to understand menopause ourselves. People of my generation (Generation X) were not educated about all the changes and transitions that go on in this phase. However, we’ve been educating ourselves and sharing this knowledge. There is more talk than ever before about this important stage in our lives and how to manage it.

We are making progress

We’ve progressed from thinking we’ve got to suffer in silence or somehow power through it to actually talking about it, discussing it, understanding that it’s more than just physical symptoms.

Those of you who’ve been following me for a while also know that it’s the beginning of a whole new cycle - our Second Spring - a rebirth, renewal and the start of a wonderful new empowering journey.

But what about the men? You too are experiencing our change in a way you are not sure how to cope with. What is your role as we ride the emotional roller coaster, forget our words, go from calm to furious in two seconds flat because you said some benign word that triggered us completely?

Wisdom from the Records

I sought the wisdom of the Akashic Records to see what they had to say on the matter and this was their response:

We would say that a man’s role is primarily one of support. They cannot go through the process themselves and it may feel somewhat foreign as to what is happening to their partner. It is difficult for them to understand this as they do not experience the same dramatic decrease in hormones that women do.

For a man, it is a case of compassion but also strength. They must stand strong and be available for their partner in ways they have not had to before.

They will likely question their relationship and indeed many relationships are tested to breaking point at this time. However, we would say the man also needs to accept that their partner is changing before their very eyes. It is a metamorphosis of sorts, and it can be a somewhat difficult and painful experience. Like childbirth, it can be difficult to watch, but the end result is immensely rewarding.

You will see your partner grow in ways she has not been able to before. She will expand more into herself in ways that you cannot anticipate. There will be a depth to her that you have not seen to date. A level of knowledge and intuition that is to be welcomed and celebrated.

There will be many changes taking place as she releases the old to make way for the new. This is not something to be feared but instead it is to be celebrated as it allows for growth in your relationship along with her individual growth in other ways.

This is the time for men to be planted firmly in the ground, to stand strong and tall, to weather the storm and to be the mountain of strength that she is calling on. This is your opportunity to truly show your love and devotion, accepting the turmoil and chaos, knowing that it will pass and you will have the opportunity to get to know a side of your partner you may never have seen before, and that is her authentic Self.

As her role changes from that of nurturer of others to one of exploring herself more deeply, you may find yourself at a loss to understand where you fit in.

Do not be frightened of this new independent woman. Celebrate her in her entirety. It is not a rejection of you. It is simply an exploration of her Self, something she has not been able to do until this time.

She is a magnificent being, as are you, and there can be much joy in exploring this new way of being together. Yes, the transition can be difficult for both parties but none more so than for the woman. It can be a challenging and confusing experience for her, but with your unconditional love and support the challenges will be more manageable.

We would also say here that you are an integral part of the process. It is not without it’s challenges and at times you may feel overwhelmed and uncertain but we would remind you that this is a transitory stage in your lives.

You may find adjustments need to be made by both parties. This will allow for expansion both as individuals and in the partnership allowing a new era of discovery and growth. This is a good thing and something to be celebrated.

We would recommend an open mind and an open heart. Move forward with compassion and unconditional love. Expect change and growth, and celebrate that for it can bring much joy and pleasure. Continue to show your love and respect for this magnificent woman that is your partner in life.

There are many rewards for those who can withstand the changes and deal with the complexity and turbulence of the transition. That is not to say it will be easy. It will have its moments of discomfort, of doubt, but we would say to you stand strong. You are the mountain to her river. You are the steadfastness when she is flowing in many directions at once.

Steadfast and strong

So it is a role of steadfastness, of grounded strength on which the woman can rely on as she is going through her tumultuous journey. We need to know that you are there for us, no matter what, that you can pick up the slack when we are struggling. That you can calmly and quietly take up the reins whilst allowing your partner to ride the rollercoaster of change and all the chaos it brings. That you won’t feel threatened, rejected or rattled by any changes your partner needs to make to start feeling into who she truly is now.

The change from nurturer to exploring oneself is huge. We’ve had a clearly defined role for decades and that is now gone. We can feel quite lost, quite undone and unsure of ourselves - of who we are and what our purpose is. It becomes clear eventually but it takes time and that is where your strength and steadfastness kicks in. To be there, no matter what - understanding, reassuring, accepting.

Be the warrior, mountain and rock

And for this we love you dearly. We know it’s tough but being the pillar of strength when we are in the turbulence of the storm is such an important role and it’s one we are incredibly grateful that you perform. Being our steadfast warrior, our strong and stable mountain, our grounded rock is exactly what we need at this time.

Have faith. We will come back to ourselves, better than before, and we would really love for you to still be there with open and loving arms and an unconditional heart, to love us for who we are now, not who we have been in the past. To help us to explore new ways of being by encouraging, supporting and walking beside us on the journey.

You have an important role to play. You are not being sidelined, rather we have gone inwards and need to take care of ourselves until we can emerge into our Second Spring. When we emerge, like a butterfly out of our cocoon, help us to spread our wings and fly with us into this next and important phase of our lives, our Wise Women years. Amazing things can be achieved together when you accept and explore our new sense of Self alongside us.

We love you and we thank you for your patience and support whilst we are on this epic journey.

Kàren