Be the change

It struck me some time ago that although women have made huge strides forward (the right to vote, own property, live independently, hold some of the most powerful positions on Earth) that we are still doing that within the current patriarchal structure.

Obviously, that makes total sense. That’s the world we’ve been brought up in. But is it the best way for women? Or even for men?

Don’t give up on me yet - I am going somewhere with this!

But I will hasten to add that these are just my musings brought about by a discussion on leadership at a networking group I used to belong to. It got me thinking, so I thought I’d share my thoughts and see if they resonate with you.

Women and business

There are many organisations set up and run by women to help women, and a lot of those are focused on how to have a successful business. The owners of these businesses are often hugely successful so they are clearly doing something right.

But the reality is, the structure of the businesses are still about hierarchy, sales channels, marketing hooks, business plans and strategies, and continues the hustle and stress that is the current business world.

We are creating the same thing as the men, just focused on the women. Which is a leap ahead in itself. But how is it helping women who now feel they need to combine being the successful entrepreneur/corporate executive, household manager, chief nurturer/caregiver, supportive wife, partner, mother, daughter, sister (and goodness knows what else)?

Women are exhausted

I see women at midlife who are burnt out, exhausted, overloaded, suffering difficult perimenopause symptoms, not sleeping, and feel they really aren’t themselves any more.

Are we creating workplaces that will allow our daughters and granddaughters to thrive and flourish, or have we just created a variation on a theme?

I feel like it’s more the latter but really, wouldn’t we want our daughters and granddaughters to live in a way that really worked for them and the rhythms and cycles of a woman’s body?

Feminine energy is incredibly creative, intuitive, collaborative and community minded. Yet to be successful in the current system we have to focus on our male energies of competition, productivity, financial gain, logic and rationalisation. We are forgetting that we are cyclical and have times in our cycle when are we incredibly creative and times when we need to rest. We are forgetting the gifts of intuition, creativity and collaboration.

The Hadza Tribe

In Dr Wendy Sweet’s course for practitioners, I was told about the Hadza women in Africa. They are a hunter-gatherer tribe and walk about 6 kilometres a day. Dr Katherine Fitzpatrick from the UK studied their experience of menstruation and foraging for food, right from menarche to post menopause.

Their symptoms of menopause are quite light compared to Western society. No hot flushes, sleep issues, mood swings or depression, although they did experience vaginal dryness.

The thing that really got me thinking though, was the fact that their bleed was generally only 2 days long! During that time, 60% of the women rested, and the other women did their work (although they don’t think of foraging for food as work which is another interesting thing!). If they didn’t rest during their bleed it would last 3-4 days. So by honouring their needs, they halved the time of their bleed.

So that begs the question - are we missing something here? If we were able to honour our needs, would our symptoms and cycles be easier? Would our lives be easier? And if we were doing work that didn’t feel like work, what would we think of our lives?

Is there a better way?

Is there a way that honours women and our innate skills and abilities? Something that includes our intuitive side, our focus on connection and community? On creativity?

I don’t know what that way is (yet) but it is possible to start thinking about it. To look at how I do things and to consider whether there might be a better way for me.

Everything starts in the imagination. Every single material thing we have in our houses started off as an idea. As did electricity, cars and planes. The World Wide Web started off in someone’s imagination. So did computers and mobile phones.

It starts with someone thinking ‘what if…?’

What if there is another way for people to thrive? What would that look like? And can I overcome my own judgements and fears to bring about my own small measure of change in my own life?

And if others read this and ask the same question - what would that look like for them as an individual? What would that feel like? How would we want our communities to look and feel? What would we value and keep from our current structure, and what would we release?

Would we still have ‘work’ that we get paid for provided we attend every day between certain hours, meet our deadlines and KPI’s, and perform in accordance with someone else’s requirements? Or in generations to come will we be like the Hadza women who go about their day’s working and resting as they need to but not thinking of what we do as work?

Long term thinking

This is very long term thinking and the wheel of change is very slow to turn. Having said that, I think it is important that I think about the way I want to live, and how I would like to see the future because without an idea nothing will change.

The current structure isn’t really working for the majority of people, and this is openly acknowledged in spiritual circles with the knowledge that many of these structures are about to undergo major change.

In the current system there are a few who benefit greatly, but the majority seem to suffer, particularly from stress, which we all know is a killer but don’t seem to be able to remove from our lives.

My current focus is on how I want to live, and allowing myself to curate my life so that I can live in accordance with that. At times it’s surprisingly challenging. I judge myself for not being productive enough, or sometimes feel it would be easier to just have a ‘normal’ job where I get a regular pay check and don’t have to think about the concerns of irregular income.

Every time I consider this option though, I get a whole body ‘no’ to the idea and a desire to keep going with my current work. I also experience a deep gratitude for being able to work in an area that I love and in a way that nourishes me. I feel really blessed to do what I do, and this would be lost in a daily 8.30-5.00 job.

Be the change we want to see in the world

Mahatma Gandhi said we have to be the change we want to see in the world. To do that we first have to imagine what that might look like. I used to imagine this life and now I’m living it. It is gentle, nourishing, rewarding, fulfilling. My hope is that others get to live in the way they wish to live, whatever that might look like.

So my question to you is what would your world look like if you took away the current structure and could have it any way you liked?

Let me know - I’d love to hear!

Kàren